SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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