There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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