Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
