Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I enjoy the company of your penis
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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