Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
