butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
