Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize