i jhust puked up my retainher.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
