it was like his penis was on wheels.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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