We're facebook friends in real life
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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