Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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