Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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