all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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