And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
