This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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