Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
