I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize