mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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