we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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