He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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