he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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