Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
