he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
