I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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