butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
