Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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