Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
soo... how was my night?
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