she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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