You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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