Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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