just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
