I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
