the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
