Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
