My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
is it fun? or sober?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
