I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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