No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
