yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
