apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
