whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
