Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Text me some of your sweat
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
