Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
