Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
