Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
