you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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