She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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