I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
