We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
