you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
