are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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