you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
