So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
