I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
