Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
and you fell through a lawn chair
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
