im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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