watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Never underestimate the power of titties
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
