What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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