Don't you send me to vm
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
