No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Michael Bay diarrhea
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize