The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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