My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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