So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
