I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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