I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
