I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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