he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
