Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
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